Where did they come from?

After a day of church, and some packing, I decide to read. As I read, I just start thinking about where I am in life and all of that kind of stuff. I continue to read, and feelings come out of no where-fear, hopelessness, loneliness, and something else that is indescribable. Even now as I write this, that indescribable feeling is still with me...I wish I could explain it. It's not a good feeling. It's almost like these feelings are hovering around me, but not able to penetrate into my soul...I know that sounds completely crazy...but it's true. Satan is trying to get to me. Make me discouraged, and hate myself. But like I said those feelings are only hovering. I had a blessing from my bishop today. And I have been praying all day for a lot of different things. And now as I write this, I feel so grateful that my Heavenly Father is watching out for me, and protecting me.

A New House

So today I and a couple of my friends signed a lease on a house. It's a really cool house, and it will be fun. The exception: I found out yesterday that one of my best friends, bookworm, is not able to move in with us...What I am about to say might take away some of my masculinity but, I cried for almost two hours when I found out. Bookworm is like the brother I never had. Yes, I have a brother, but we never really acted like brothers; we are not that close. But Bookworm and I are extremely close. So of course I was sad when I found out. Everyone in the house was. It will still be fun, but it will not be the same without him there.

Most of us in the house are friends, but it's also a little hard knowing that the two guys that I am good friends with are best friends and I am out on the edge. I know things will be fine, I guess it will just take some getting used to. I can't live with Bookworm.

Oh the sadness of my poor and pathetic life! I'm pretty sure if Shakespeare was alive and my age he would say it that way :-) .......or not. Whatever.

Grateful

So I was saying my prayers last night, and I was overcome with gratitude and thanks for everything that the Lord as given me-the people in my life: family friends, etc. They all do so much for me, and most of them don't even realize it. My parents, my bishop, Sitcom, and Bookworm are some of my greatest examples; they show true love for the gospel, and they live it. Through thick and thin, these people have been by my side, and I am so grateful for them, their attitude, and the example that they show me.

Another thing that I was grateful for was my opportunities/talents. I am currently in a show and I was disappointed when I was cast because it seemed like a small and insignificant part. But as rehearsals have continued I have learned, even though it is a small part, I am learning skills (mainly tap) that will help further my performing career. I am learning to enjoy my role, and love others as they do well in their roles.

I am so grateful for music! The spirit it can bring into a room, and a persons heart is incredible. It has changed my life-helping me realize my mistakes and helping me towards the right path again.

But most of all, I am grateful for the gospel; especially repentance and the atonement. Let's just say without them I would be completely screwed. The fact that Christ would suffer for you and me, bleeding from every pore, and eventually giving his life so we could have the opportunity to repent and live again is so astounding to me. I am so grateful that we have the opportunity to repent. We do not need to be perfect, just strive to be.

These things are just a few things that I was completely overcome with gratitude for. Even now, I am still astounded. Thank you to everyone in my life.

My Near Death Experience!!!

So Sitcom convinced me to get up at 6 AM (yes, in the morning!) to go running with her. First off, FAT men don 't run....and second, I am sick. So of course throught the trail I was having a heartattack and could not breath, and pretty much almost died! Not a surprise right? I knew I was going to do die-yet I did it anyway....sigh. Oh well. Have a GREAT day :-)