As today has passed, I have realized that I have made myself an outcast.....I was supposed to go iceblocking, attend the WSU tailgate party/homecoming game with Sitcom and bunch of other people-but as the time came I didn't hear from anyone who was planning on going. And I didn't have the guts to call or text anyone-a part of me didn't want to go, therefore I made myself the outcast. Earlier tonight my roommates invited some of our friends to come over to watch a movie and play games. The whole time I kept to myself, in my little corner and longed to be 'part of the group' but never did anything about it. I don't know why I have the tendency to pull away from others-especially from large groups of people. You would think that I would be great with large groups of people because I perform, but I'm not. I don't know if I just don't share the humor, or am selfish or what. I have also noticed and been informed that I always stay in my room and keep to myself-once again I don't know why...I wish I knew.
Longing to be one with the group
they would accept if I didn't refuse.
but something inside keeps me from moving.
so alone I sit, and look on in
the laughing and loving taking place before my eyes.
Wondering why I can't change and be part
of the group that's accepting and willing.
I can't believe I am posting something so stupidly written, but there it is.
2 comments:
Don't rag on your writing my friend, it's much better than you think. It's easy to feel and understand the conflict you're experiencing.
I was very sad when you didn't come! It was really fun...but would've been more fun if you were there! No worries though my friend. We have found an even BIGGER hill to go iceblocking and this time I am not taking no for an answer :)
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