Being torn apart

My life is being torn apart. It's like being Jekyll and Hyde and unfortunately Hyde is taking over....Why can't I surround myself with good people and find good things to do. Two sides are fighting. I feel like I'm running out of time to get my life together. Each side has a completely different outcome and I only want the best outcome but I can't seem to let go of Hyde. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't feel like I can fight anymore.